| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2006|12:32 pm] |
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deep down i know i should be mad at myself. so that boy i wrote about in my last entry, hes been talking to again, calling me for the past two nights, and i think he expects it just to go back the way it was. we talked about all that drama or whatevr you wanna call it between us and i think he understands how he effected me but deep down meh sjdhgljsdrfthgjkr. i find myself back in the same spot, but this time im making him show he cares more. i do care about him but last time i showed hate he took advantage of the situation. and im not about to let him do that again. STUPID GAMES im happy i really am. im just constantly gonna be followed around by the cloud of "what if he does it again".
bakara hasnt talked to me yet about this. and she is being all bitter which is understood. but i hope when we do get a chance to talk about it she'll try and understand. when im talking to him or thinking about him it just feels right. gay right? lol
well yeah im out
im suppoce to see this boy in question today
but to be honest im not really counting on it.
i have low hopes and expectaions for him.
so i cant be disppointed now.
"All Hail The Heartbreaker"
I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin
I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about this constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker |
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| home "sick" |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|10:09 am] |
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meh, so once again i let someone who in the end isn't worth my time hurt me.
i guess its karma.
GAH it sucks because from the start i felt chemistry with this kid
i never have REALLY felt that before
but what kinda of guy just stops talking to you outta no where?
i guess the ones that i fall for.
how can you talk to someone for 3 weeks everynight on the phoen for hours
and then one night just stop?
i guess it didnt feel the same for him.
my back hurts, cuz i slept on the couch last night
because everything that happend wiht me and this kid happend in my bed.
not in like the sex type of way
i stayed up soo late with him for weeks,
with him feeding things that i see where just lies and what i wanted to hear.
and the night of my party we talked and fought in it.
i guess this is karma.
i did some things this weekend that i shouldnt have
both thursday and friday where not my greatest moments
i keep going back to guys that have let me down,
thinking that maybe this time things will be different
BUT GUYS DONT CHANGE.
i love bakara and lisa
and bianca and jelli
for putting up wiht all my shit recently
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:
jen is coming home may 10th!!
im done complaining here are some lyrics
hit the lights: sineraly yours
So wake up, and let go
Of these feelings that I've had for you
It's easier said than done
So give up, and let go
Of these feelings that I've had for you
Why couldn't you be one?
But it's a guilty pleasure
Deciding whether you were ever mine or not
But it's just apparent
That you weren't ever mine to start
What will it take to make you
Understand that I...
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you
Understand that I...
I'm not lying when I say I need you
So don't close your eyes
Every night I catch you up
I never once heard you say stop
But right I wish I had
I wish I had the nerve to tell you that I'm a wreck
But what really did you expect
You never listened to what I said to you
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2006|07:16 am] |
wow i havent done one of these in awhile, but i guess now that im grounded ill have more time but that is a long story in the first place. this week has been a constant up and down of emoitions. i bropke upo with matt, not gonan lie i did it for a certain boy. ive had feelings for this boy since october. and on friday a lot of things happend that i guess could be seen 2 different ways. well he saw it one way and i saw it another. i thought me and him where gonna be "together" he also told me he loved me which is the most fucked up thing. im come to seen that he did that becuase he thought i was gonna have sex with him. thank the lord i didnt, becuase thats the only way things could be more fucked up right now. i love this guy i really do. and the worst part is i dont want to. im sick of the things he puts me through. but i think im just fucked up enough to think that maybe we will be together someday. i really dont want to see him today at school. not only does
fuck teas here school time |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|09:30 pm] |
so yeah this weekend was dope as all fuck. me and tea
were attched at the hip like 95% of the time we can be. she slept over
2 nights cuz the long weekend and it was sweeetttt. so i really like
this guy since last year like second semester, and shit went down this
weekend with us and we still end up friends which pretty much kills me
but friends has worked for that long so why not? its just hard to
explain. haha i never thought id be able to write on here that im just
good friends with danny( aka maloners) now like its sweet
because we went through a ruff part in our"friendship" if u must call
it that. mehhh this blows my b-day is in like 10 days and the people i
wanna spend it most with i cant see ( jen, tea, pat, lindsay, ashley) but matt from this summer at ravinia is coming back and said we're gonna chill which would ROCKKK. also my kinda ex andy
is comign back and said he would like to see me which im not too sure
how i feel abou that becuase he has a way of getting to me that i cant
describe and tghats all i need when pat is in florida for a week a old
guy im not over yet to come back, GREAT meh im over this. i hope some fucking loser ass kid i dont know comments making fun of me again. ryan your a faggot and so are your friends.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|09:53 pm] |
im going out with a lovely boy named tommy thomas. he makes me so
happy. ive been missing jen alot lately :-/ but yeah the sox arte
owning hell yeah!!!
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| random shit... |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: NO
Girl: Choose--me or ur life
Boy: my life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do just anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
SOO CUTE yeah it was one of those gay myspace things lol.
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the
first thing you look at? my teeth haha i cant believe i dont have those
gross braces anymore haha
2. How much cash do you have on you? like 5 and change
3. What is the male scrotum holding inside it? Hint: It starts with "TEST"? testicles bitches
4. Favorite planet? umm mars cuz im werid i dunno
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? nick t hahaha
6. What is your default ring tone on your phone? ugly!!
7. What shirt are you wearing? a roxy tank
8. Do you "label" yourself? um no thanks
9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? steve madden
1o. Bright or Dark Room? dark, fun things happen :-)
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
ryan hmmmm hes my ex can i just say that? haha kidding hes ubber dope
12. Ever "spilled the beans"? wait what
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, im sick as fuck people
14. Word for word: What did your last text message you received on your
cell phone say? "sorry if i sounded like an idioe. haha xo" from tony
like in augest when i had textin for liek a day lol
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? EW no
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? dope
17. Who told you they loved you last? danny haney or hope he like said it online when she said it on the phone haha
18. Last furry thing you touched? i dunno
19. How many hours a week do you work? none i need a job!
2o. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? i think a few really old ones
21. Favorite age you have been so far? i like being 16 i dont like the gas money though lol
22. Your worst enemy? i dont really have one. people hate me i dont hate them nlol
23 What is your current desktop picture? the peace love dance girls at the dunco try-out good day! :-)
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? mom i need money... haha
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to
change a major regret? thats hard wow. i think the money. because shit
happens for a reason. and i need money really bad.
yeahh im over it....
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|11:48 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
im taking danny haney to homecoming with me and im
stoked. i was with him all day and night last night cuz guys like to
not answer their phone and not call when they say they will. how come
someone act like they like you so much then shit all over you?
"this is what i get for wanting more.." underoath
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|07:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my humps-black eyed peas | ] |
i am in very deep like with my ryan :-)
he makes me sooo happy i couldnt ask for a better boyfriend.
i wish i could write alot but i would write the same thing over and over.
<3
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|11:23 pm] |
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so yeah me and ryan are pretty much perfect. i got to chill with him last night and it was amazing. i didnt think i could feel this strongly about someone again. i hope it doesnt end like the last one did. well yeah i dont know what else to say he is just so awesome and makes me so happy. well yeah tonight i went downtown with vron, wal,bradsaw,mare,tim,tom, and sean. it was dope i love the city i really should go more cuz its like a half hour train ride and its beaituful down there man. even though i was with a bunch of not ugly guys all i could do was think about ryan. i think im getting sick cuz i feel like doing is sleeping lately and its driving me nuts.... well yeah im out one day maybe ill have enough time ot write a long cool entry like ryans always are. :-p |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|04:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ryan adams- wish you where here | ] |
alrighty well for the most part my life has to do with ryan lately.
last night i went to ravinia to see him with vron wally and matt. i got
to see everyone and we heard like 20 mins of music. it was dope. i love
brittney and simon and jon and dan and tim and matt and mark. yeah well
i got in trouble this morning cuz we got to vrons late last night :-/ i
dunno what my punshment is really thought... my dad say the car but he
cant do that. like he CANT ill DIE. ryan took off friday so we could go
to ravinia together and chill on the lawn i hope i can go. he makes me
soo happy and since last night or today at 3 in the morning we're going
out which is sooo awesome. :-) read his live journal it is soo
sweet and he updates it all the time unlike me whose too busy/ lazy
http://www.livejournal.com/users/indypirate12/
yeah but enough of him. lol i miss jen like fucking crazy i dont really know how im living right now i need her hugs and shit.
i was in my cousins wedding on friday and it was sooooo awesome, i
loved it and i loved the people more than anything. it was fun just
dancing and having a good time with my family, werid right. for the
first time in a long time i felt beautiful which is great. i cant wait
to see the pictures.
yeah im too lazy to write anything else.
hey if anyone wants to come to ravinia with me friday at like 4 ish
call me or something cuz it will be ok music and its like 15 bucks for
tickets ( if i cant get us in for free)
<3
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| i think it was more like 4 and a half hours.... |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|04:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | motion city soundtrack | ] |
so i had to quit ravinia, which now that i think about it saved me a
lot of heartbreak even though i was crying yeasterday morning. the guys
and shit was getting ot be too much. andy is full out a dick and i
reallyu liked him for a good part of the summer. im done pretending
that im fine wiht the way guys treat me but the thing is lately ive
been treating guys like nothing to either in hope of not getting hurt.
but every single guy i have done something with this summer i could see
myself with even if it was just friends. i need to stop doing this shit
because all i really want is someone i know i can turn to and all that
chessey shit. if they dont call then thats great they can be a typical
guy and shit. ryan from minnasota hasnt been returning phone calls and
that upsets me very much i thought we were cool, not like we'd ever go
out or anything because the distance but i still have a thing for him.
but meh guys are so confusing, the second that i step into school im
making myself let go of all the "boys of summer" and whoever wants to
call me and care then thats great.
let me talk about a boy that the title is about..... ill be honest at
first i thought he would be just another summer make out thing. but
last night we were on the phone for about 4 and a half hours. like he
said i cant say i like him yet but it is for sure a possiably but once
again he lives at least an hour and a half away from good ol' park
ridge. but i mean hes fucking adorable and he likes ryan adams! i dont
think i know another guy who knows him yet alone likes him. yet theres
the fact that hes leaving for the mirines too. the last thing i need is
a little crush who is gonna leave like jen and my brother and like 50%
of my friends are.whatever we'll see what happends i really hope ill
see him again hes a good kid i can tell i guess only time will tell
where shit goes from here..... maybe it will be like the movies
ryan.... :-p
EW school is tomorrow. im really gonna die without all my loves that
got too cool(aka old) for school. i really cant wait to see all the
motherfuckers that try too hard at my school. eh the freshmen class
other than jeli and paz are gonna kill me they are just getting slutter
and slutter. i cant wait for dance to start there is an open house
tomorrow night ane i get to meet the new teachers and i hope they can
stand me cuz i fucking own that studio lol. but dance is once again my
get away from all the shit going on. omg my dads b-day is tomorrow too.
yeah man. i cant believe its the first week of school and im fucking
grounded. and omg dawns wedding is saterday and shit. oh man!!! this
summer went WAYYY too fast. speakiung of fast i think i should go read
my summer reading book if i wanna pass english at all the first 2 weeks
i have to know what im talking about... fuck.
ps the night in glen ellyn and shit was AWESOME i love everyone io
spent time with there...... you bitches know who you are. and all youre
perfect boyfriends. :-p
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2005|10:39 am] |
im surrounded by people that are in really happy relationships and im jelaous
ok so yeah me and kevin lasted about 3 days. this is due to the fact
that his phone "broke" so i got pissed and we're over. but its summer
and im grounded for getting drunk and driving home when i was staying
at my nanas house. yeah but this guy from work matt and i went out for
steak and shake a few nights ago hes a really cool kid, for having a
girlfriend that hes totaully stoked on. but tonight im suppoce ot be
working wiht andy and we havent work together since we starting liking
each other or whatever so im nervous/excited for it. also tonight is
ben folds so its a big show and should be a good one. then tomorrow
morning im gonan go and spend some time in glen ellyn/lombard with
ashley lindsay and alyse!!!!!!! but yeah jen leaves me in like 5 days
and i really dont know what im gonan do how im gonan live without my
best friend.everyones going to college and this is gonan be a really
depressing month. whateve ri got shit to do peace
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2005|09:20 am] |
haha everyone at work found out about me and andy cuz we both have big
mouths. its funny to me. yeah but now im going out with kevin. i dont
know how i feel i mean ive wanted this for like a year and a half but i
dunno if its the right time and everything. if its meant to be it will
work out if not shit happends i guess. i just gotta make sure i dont
give him room to hurt me. if you want the full story ask me even though
if its worth telling you the whole story i already prob did. wow im
still in shock....
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2005|11:28 am] |
hahaha so yeah two nights ago i had SUCH a good night it started off
bad becuase i went to work and noticed that i didnt have the right
pants so i had to go but some. yeah then i had to work in the cafe and
i was there until pretty late. but i did get to see my uncle mitch and
his girlfriend kyra who i havent seen in awhile so that was nice. yeah
so after i closed, had a cig, and was walkin to my car i see andy this
adorable guy i work with walking back because his car is dead. so i
helpo him find someone with a jumper cable and jump hiscar, then we
decide to go out togetehr somewhere :-) so since it was 1230 at night
we did drive threw and hung out in my car it was dope, and to make a
long story short i got home at 4 in the morning. not good. but it was
an awesome night chillin with him. yeah so at work last night i found
out the name of this cute guy that works at the gates and i met his
friend too. when the cute one was gone the other guy was like ok so
your change girl (what cute one calls me) and im like yeahh why has he
talked abotu me or something? and hes like yeah today he has been, and
i was like what was he saying, and hes like things his girlfriend
wouldnt want him to. hahaha yeah well hes cut eand fun to flirt
with. i love work. and im totaully stoked on andy. no work
tonight yessss and skulskis parents are outta town, sweet man im out
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2005|11:39 am] |
last night was NUTS first i get to work and i notice that i forgot my
cigs at home which sucks cuz work is the only place i really smoke.
then i get to wokr in the cafe which was a bummer to me because i was
in a bad mood and if i wouldve been put on this guy andy that i have a
little crush on's cart i woulda been happy and not uncomfy the whole
time at work. at least one of the guys that works at the cafe asked for
my numbeer cuz they have a little group that chills after work
sometimes, whatever. then i didnt get to count my money for half an
hour later than i shouldve cuz this stupid manger-type lady forgot
about me like wtf? i dont like her. then i go to bring carts back
somewhere with andy and we walked threw the feild like we usally do to
find beer, and we found one and he gave it to me. then i didnt leave
for another lek 45 mins after i clocked out because i cant say no to
mark, and andy. then i got my pay check qwhich was alot more than i
thought it was gonna be. too bad later that night i noticed i fucking
lost it. but yeah i gave andy my number (he noticed i got my brcaes off
it was cute) and he said hes gonna call me sometime, whatever not gonna
get my hopes up. yeah so then i bum a cig from thsi beer cart guy chris
who calls me speedy becuas ei go the speed limit lol. yeah then i dance
my way to my car with mark while having the cig i change in the middle
of the parking lot into some cute clothes. then i drive home, i open
the beer in my lap, it spills all over my dads car seat, then i dirve
all the way til i need to get off the highway and i notice i dont have
my cell phone. i go into the 31 flavors and ask the guy for a phone to
use so i can call mark cuz we planned on meeting up at dennys. then i
dont know marks number so i have ot call hopes house at like midnight
cuz i dont know anyones number :-/ then he came biut while i was
waiting for him this guy who worked at 31 flavors who was my age was
full out hitting on me i felt like i was in a bad movie. then mark
comes and we drive all the way back to raivina and call my phoen and
find it. then we said we would meet at dennys after he dropped off this
girl lisa he was with and got dave c. on the way home i called mike
tomzack cuz he always calls me really late and wants to chill so i
called him and he said he would call me back, so i call ryan, from min,
and im on the phone with him until i pick up tomzack with charles and
tomzack calling me like 3 times each,ryan is such a sweetheart. but
yeah then i went to dennys with dave c mark and tomzack. i had come
hashbrowns. and mark got me a blue frog thingy :-) all dope guys. i
felt like a pimp haha. then i drove tomzack home. i went home and
passed out. and this morning i am so sick but i have ot leave for work
at 2 and im suppoce to go to the movies with tomzack but im too pooped
to and think i just wanna shower and go visit jen at work and
then go to work today i sound like a man, well yeah that was my day
peace and love.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|01:42 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | metallica-turn the page | ] |
wow. i just got back a few hours ago from a trip
to minnasota with hope and her family to her grandparents lake house.
whata good 9 days. the bugs where horriable, but the weather and
comewny was good and the boys where cute. lol. yeah here i go.. i met
this guy ryan who is soo dope and last night/this morning i was thinkin
how im never gonan see him again and i remebered that last year i wrote
a litttle thing about a guy i met on summer vacation and this was part
of my rant on aug. 8th last year.....
Hmm I haven’t talked about my
vacation yet. It had its high points I guess. Both of them in the same
day pretty much though. Ok, lets see. I why does it always seem that at
least once in someone's life they meet the PERFECT person of the
opposite sex on vacation. Its just like in fucking Grease. But
99.99999% of us they don’t come back like in the movie. why does it
seem like these people are so perfect to us? is it because we don’t
know them that long so they can just fake it for awhile? who the hell
knows what it is. but it fucking happened to me on this vacation. yeah,
yeah I thought it was funny too. His name was Nick and pretty much I
hung out with him for a whole day and he made my vacation worth it when
I was with him. The best part is I’ll never fucking see or talk to him
ever again. and yeahh for those of you who don’t know me that well I
really don’t mean that. I kept on replaying things in my head saying if
only over and over. but what is done is done. I guess that was his
purpose in my life for that day to make me happy and leave me on a good
note. leave me thinking he’s perfect and thinking I would have a chance
with him if he even went to my school. That was my rant about vacation
that I really needed to get out. I’m done.
it seems this has happed to me
again. not as bad though cuz ryan i got to kiss a little bit and iu got
his number and got to see alot more. but the part that is in bold still
stands. like i still think ill talk to him for a bit and i need to ask
him for his s/n but i know im never gonna see him again so is it really
worth talkin to him and letting myself fall knowing that it will never
happen? i dont wanna remember him as a let down. whatever. yeah hopes
cousins where dope and her whole family was they made me fell like i
was part of the family, it was really sweet actaully. me and hope
caused our fair share of choas in that little town that is half the
size of our highschool. made outselfs known lol. i missed jen like
craxyness when i was gone i felt like she was my girlfriend back home
that was being taken away from me by tea now that tea doesn't have
kevin to ditch us for. i dunno i just think thats shetch. two nights
ago wa the best night we got drunk with labree and paul and it was dope
man i wish i could tell more i really do.... on that note i am out. im
lookin forward to getting back into the swing of things and hoping to
chill with peopel i havent chilled with in awhole, if you are one of
those people let me know and we can work something out. love ya
everyone!
ps im gonna start doing this more often i gotta it really helps me feel better more than i remeber it did..
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2005|10:43 am] |
im in love with danny haney. last night was horriable night but danny made the morning awesome. if you dont know him, that sucks
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2005|10:02 am] |
eh ive been so busy lately its sick. summer schools over now. im going
to minnasota with hope and her family on friday and im soo excited. i
also got to see charles last night for the first time in like 3 months
it was sweet hes such a sweetie pie even though he wont admit it.
i se to go see danny haney today too who i havent seen since camp and i
love him to death!! i think it might be the highlight of my summer so
far. oh yeah im also in an iffy place right now because pappas is back.
and shes like trying ot be my friend. whos wants to be friends with
someone who lies all the time and does everything for attention. i
dunno im trying ot stay away but i can't help but feel bad for her.
whatever. a certain boy has come back in my life and im not too sure
what to do with him and his attitude towards me :-/ i really havent
stoped likeing him since last january but yeah i dunno. also i havent
seen linds alyse and ashley in forvere and its killing me. im coming
back from minn. on the 18th and i hope to see them shortly after. i
hate summer cuz you always are like ohh things will be easier in summer
to see each other but its not really. meh im getting my braces off on
the 21st! praise the lord. I LOVE NEJ soo much shes amazing and i dont
know what id do without her. oh yeah im inmy cousins wedding in august
and im soo excited :-) well everyone take care im out.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|06:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
yeah havent done this in awhile, cant really find the time. i got summer school and work now. when im not there im really not at home unless im sleeping, and of course rightnow waiting for people to call me to chill. hopes grounded, thats wack. yeah i got a hair cut today and i think i wanna cut it like 2 inches longer than shoulder, i dunno its taken me awhile ot grow it to be as long as it is right now..... meh im out to look for somethign to do hope everyones summer is good |
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| my weekend |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|05:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | brand new-mix tape | ] |
alright so this is my weekend which started on thursday
thursday- school and everything, pretty depressing because it
was the first day without seniors. but i got through it. i got home and
slept because wednesday night i didn't sleep much cuz i had dance til
late and stuff. i found out something on thursday and it totaully
changed how i felt towards someone. now it doens't matter anyway cuz he
has moved on so i gotta try to as well. i talked to this freshy on the
phone for a bit i cant seem to stop having a little crush on him i
dunno.
friday- didn't go to school because my dad told his friend i
would work with her at a IHSA soccer tournment all day. the day was
pretty chill. i got up and i got to go to my dads school. where i met
up with my ashley and we went to starbucks. she had finals so
our time was cut short. i also got to see her friend elizabeth who i
chilled with alot at the x-mas tourny and shit. cool girls. aww there
where these two really hot emo ish guys at their school and i went nuts
lol elizabeth seemed to talk to every guy i told her i thought was hot
it was sweet. but yeah then they went to go take their finals and me
and my dad went to the tounrment. there where some cute college guys
working there cuz it was at north central college so it was ok. then
the bad part came, i had to wear the IHSA "ata-tude" guy thing and go
out on the feild, its ok cuz its not like i knew anyone but it was bad
cuz i couldnt walk and such. but it was for like 15 mins then the hot
college guy who always does it did it cuz he got outta class. thank the
lord. the rest of the day i just chilled and saw how much work is put
into tounments and shit. i really am not sure if i wanna do that for a
living yet but its a really big possiablity and my dad is stoked about
it and its the one thing that we've been about to connect about lately
so yeah ill keep doing stuff like that whenever. ok friday night was prom
and i went to go take pics of my brothers group with my mom dad and
nana. it was so cute to see everyone dreessed up and stuff i wish i
wouldve gotten asked because everyone seemed to have fun or at least
after party-wise. i got a ton of good pics of all my loves. after pics
and everything i went out with my nej! it was forever since i
saw her so it was awesome chilling with her. we just dropped off the
pics at walgreens and went up town for a bit then came back here and
chilled. not very exciting but we make it better than it sounds.
saterday- wow i did soo much. i needed to get my hip hop costume
fixed so i ran there, to the mall with my mom and dad got two new
cds(new fall out boy and brand new) and jimmy johns and walgreens for
more pics. i had so many random plans for saterday night but i ended up
going to vrons and spending the night, i had fun we chilled
with her friends and i drank a little bit. it was cool, chill and shit
even if a few people didnt really like me or something there. i love
veronica so much she is such a sweetie pie it drives me nuts. i saw jon
pawlick too we chilled with him and it was so werid cuz i havent talked
to him since like 8th grade around my birthday so we talked a bit.
sunday- today hoot hoot. wokeup to the annoying voice of alex
and him watching me vron and ashley sleeping? wtf yeah well then got
donuts, then mom picked me up, went to nanas and helped her get ready
for having peple over for dinner. i didnt even get to shower cuz we had
to go to graduation. i didn't cry like i thought i would hope
sat by me so it was cool, after we ran around getting pics of everyone
all hot and in robes. im really gonna miss everyone next year, i knew i
knew alotta seniors but today hearing all the names made me see how
many im losing. thank god for the summer and all the parties that are
gonna be coming up. yeah then went to nanas for dinner, come home and
slept and took 2 adderal so i cleaned my room, did my health review
sheet, and am doing this. its fucking 5 so im gonna do some more
cleaning or something.
finals this week then im done! we seem to be the last school getting
out, bummer. this week is gonna be nuts with getting ready for my dance
show, im at the theater 3 nights this week, then getting my linecse maybe on wednesday, also 2 graduation parties this saterday for jake and ally, and eddie. i really hope that linds alyse and ashley
can come see my show then spend the night here on sunday cuz i miss
them so much even though i saw ashley for like an hour on friday its
not the same, i can't think of a better way of starting off my summer.
if anyone wants to come to my dance show talk to me about it it would
be really nice to have people there supporting me. and im gonna have
people over after for stuff. good luck on finals everyone summers
almost here.....
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soon_2_be_ex's journal